He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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