I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hippo gnu deer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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