Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
