you win again, gameday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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