I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
