we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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