But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
