Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
