I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
