I cockslap morals
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
