Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
