This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
