ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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