That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
