What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
