If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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