Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
