just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
