half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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