I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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