If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
