Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
