i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
