Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
