ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
