your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
