Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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