There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
