I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
