i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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