Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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