Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We need a shit load of segways right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
