I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
