um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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