I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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