is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
