so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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