Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
