I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
