Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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