The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
