Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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