I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
