Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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