I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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