I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
