Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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