That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
