Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
