I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
