I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
